A Door

A Door

Acres and acres of dry grassland ran past … at times with mild undulations … the not-so-obvious crests … the obvious darkness that surrounded the pits … the sudden humps that mocked the surrounding landscape with a dry mirth … the hillocks with it’s fraternal valleys … shades of brown with long fillets of burned out grass … their slants reflecting the strong winds which had tried hard to uproot everything in it's path for ages … and then a smooth gentle whisper of the breeze … the coherent sway of the grass as if somebody touching them ever so lightly … scorch of the sun … the mildness of it … the temperateness of the climate … then again the harshness of it … on the other side the hills, the sea roared like a mad man … it's waves rode high … the clouds against the blue sky added a whole new dimension to the set up … an occasional old fort … ridden by moss … it’s dark nooks and a mysterious story …

The naked eroticism of wandering alone has finally found a structured groove.

Wandering sans crisis

Wandering sans objectiveness

Wandering sans meaning

Wandering sans end

In one of those photographers magic moment, with a vague aura of diffused luminance that surrounded him, Sukanto felt as if he was the king of the land in which he was standing. He was standing atop a little hillock that gave a beautiful view of the ocean line and right behind him hidden behind the haze were the highlights of the majestic western ghats. It looked like a syncing ship in the fading sun. 

[context to his current trip] - who was planning to go? Why did he feel like going? What were his feelings leading up to the trip?

This was a rather rushed visit to Port Junar for Shukanto. Few of his friends had heard of his travel plans and wanted to join him but various reasons had to drop off last minute.

[Bring back to Present]

The diffused light of the sky occluded by the sporadic clouds gave a certain intenseness to the moment. Time passed and the deep orange light of the after-sunset sky slightly lighted up the place that surrounded Sukanto. The hum of deep rumbles from the sea gave an inertia that was too promiscuous to be escaped. He sat down … wished that he had remembered to get his camera from the car.

The silhouette of the nearby rock gave the impression of a leviathan waiting with eternal patience. The gentle sea breeze filled his heart with a longing to share this moment with somebody … or may be a hot cup of coffee … maybe a little nap …

Sunkanto was taking a break after 5 hours of constant driving along one of the many ghat or hilly section of the Konkan belt. This place gave some respite to his acing feet, which for the past 5 hours has been shifting between the clutch, brake and accelerator of his blue colored 1993 maruti800, something which he very proudly possessed. This car was his portal to the outside world.

For the past 4 and a half years Sukant has left six jobs. The longest tenure in one company had been the one in which he is working right now for past 8 months. Most of his friends thought it was a miracle. Never in his professional life Sukanto has stayed for more than 4-6 months in a job. Then there was a time, when he openly flaunted the idea that he could be interested in business. Well wishers, family members, friends and relatives, everybody encouraged him, but he could never come to a decision as to what would be his field of business. After much contemplation … rather hit and trial, Sukanto in his early thirties had come to the decision that job was something that he might want to give a try again.

Hence, Sunkanto … as he is now, a-many-face for a software firm in Pune.

Yet at moments when it rained or the sun was bright and happy or the wind blew fine … when melancholy gripped strong or a pang of sadness made a heavy heart …

Sukanto always took his car and started out for some place far …

Now that Sukanto was standing amidst nowhere is because of one these reasons …or maybe some other unexplained ones.

Night was falling in, clearness of the surrounding was getting dimmer and dimmer. He realized that he should get going because he had wandered off a lot more than he estimated.

His car was on the other side of the hillock … did he lock his car ???

Where was his keys ?

in a pang of nervousness Sukanto checked his pockets quickly ...was relieved to find them in his pocket. The remote was also fine in his pockets, at least he won’t be locked out. He was seriously contemplating the idea of taking a short nap in the car. Then may be at a later point in time have a small cup of filtered coffee from a road side dhaba.

Did he have enough change …!?

A quick rattle proved affirmative.

Sukanto started his walk back towards the car. After walking for sometime a certain nervousness gripped him. He realized he was getting tensed about the exactness of his coordinates. He had a feeling that he was walking in a wrong direction. Then there was the tree that he had carefully marked while coming in this direction, and … and there was that big stack of hay …

“I think I am in the right direction”, sukanto said to himself.

His confidence kind of stopped a few stops short, when he came across a fence that he had never crossed when he had come down. He was definite about the fact that he had lost his way and to make matters worse he could hardly see anything.

How can he ever reach his car? Sukanto thought.

He should either find a place to put up or find a person to direct him in the right direction. Both the options seemed to be a miracle for him.

An ether of blackness seemed to have engulfed the entire place, sukanto couldn’t even see his own hands. He didn’t know where he was going.

“Lost” would be an understatement at this point – Sukanto humored himself.

He had never longed to see people like this before.

He looked up … the beauty of the sky was ravishing … somebody has thrown silvery sparklets all over the dark expanse. The lover of Eos seemed to be very proudly protected by Gemini and Taurus. A shooting star wooshed across the sky. The moon was still not up or may be it won’t come up.

The constant hum of the night bugs seem to have out powered the low rumble of the sea. The tenderness of the evening seems to have transcended to the fearful night. Sukanto could clearly understand that how much a state of mind had to do with security. Everything suddenly had to do with myopicity. His sense of utmost insecurity at this point comes from fact that he cannot see anything – Sukanto thought. Sukanto bumped into something.

Was that a rock ???? or was it piece wood ? seemed like something that had to do with wood.

He bend down, tried to feel and use his face vision, as a blind person would have done.

It felt like a rectangular piece of wood ..like … like a door.

Yes … it had a knob too.

It seemed very strange to him …

The very idea that there was a door lying in the middle of nowhere seemed very strange to him.

He felt the entire thing again and he was convinced that it was a door.

Not bad – sukanto thought to himself – completely lost in a strange land with an abandoned door as his companion. Suddenly this crazy idea got to him !

He wondered what if he should open that door. That was a crazy thought, given any day sukanto would have probably never even thought of implementing it.

But in this pitch black night amidst nowhere he assumed that it would be the most entertaining thing that he can do with himself.

May be the door won’t open at all. May be all his efforts will be wasted and all he will be left with is a long cold night ahead of him.

Sukanto to his utter surprise found that he was having a war within himself about it. On one hand he had a mystery to solve… a delight for the unknown. On the other hand there was this tremendous apprehension of disappointment. What was he supposed to do ?

Sukanto walked some distance away from the door and sat down. He put his glasses back into his jacket pocket. It was not required anymore. A sudden gush of wind made him realize that it was getting colder. He zipped his jacket tightly. He stopped his breathing for a while and tried to listen to anything that might catch his attention. None of the ambient sound seemed anything to do with human beings.

Sukanto stretched himself on the dry grass and lay there gazing at the sky.

A vortex of miscellaneous thoughts covered his mind. Disarrayed, half formed, … vague thoughts. Thoughts about his friend, about funny incidents … about some girl … accomplishments … failures …

But the door seemed to be the fulcrum of all his thoughts.

Sukanto got up … his tiered steps got him to the door.

He took a look at the sky …

Shukanto was ready 

It’s time he opened the door…